It was robust coffee that made me strong in the idea of fostering this boy. So far I've only fostered loosy ideas, and I cannot say I was happy. 

Some how this desire was inflected into obsessive thought  - I've seen swath of kids, standinf next to each other, or bevy of children playing around of school and my kid was there. Still, sometimes I had eerie feeling that there is some trick and I had to think once again and again.